The Olympics, curling, and men with painted faces

McSweeney’s Internet Tendency is the online branch of McSweeney’s (founded by What is the What author Dave Eggers) that publishes a variety of literature (sometimes funny, sometimes reallllly deep and meaningful). You can decide which genre McSweeney’s editor John Warner’s latest essay falls into:

I AM THE MAN WHO PAINTS HIS FACE WITH THE AMERICAN FLAG AND GOES TO OLYMPIC CURLING MATCHES AND BANGS A COWBELL.

Here are the first few paragraphs:

I know what you’re thinking. You’re wondering, who is this man who paints his face with the American flag and goes to Olympic curling matches and bangs a cowbell?

Well, my name is Norman Gosselin, and I live in Alamogordo, New Mexico and I am very pleased to make your acquaintance. I have become somewhat famous during these Vancouver Olympics as the man who paints his face with the American flag and goes to Olympic curling matches and bangs a cowbell, and I am appreciative that I have an opportunity to explain myself to so many people in one fell swoop.

You have some other questions that likely include, but are not limited to the following:

1. Why do I paint my face with the American flag?
2. Why do I paint my face with the American flag and go to Olympic curling matches?
3. Why do I paint my face with the American flag and go to Olympic curling matches and bang a cowbell?
4. What is curling?

Read the rest here and you can read Mr. Warner’s similar essay, I AM THE MAN WHO PAINTS HIS ENTIRE HEAD AND FACE TO RESEMBLE THE HELMET OF HIS FAVORITE FOOTBALL TEAM, here.

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